There was a tie. Between M and S. “M” included 233 songs from the following artists:

-Madonna (really, can’t live without that)
-Mae
-Magical Truplet (woo!)
-Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s
-Mat Kearney
-Matt Wertz
-Matthew Thiessen and the Earthquakes
-MC Solaar
-Meese
-Merced
-Minus the Bear
-Mozart
-Muse
-Mute Math
-My Holy Ghost
-The Myriad

Not too shabby. But S was awesome, too. “S” included 367 songs from the following artists (with some of the more embarrassing ones removed):

-Satie
-The Series
-Shane & Shane
-Sherwood
-Sleeping At Last
-Sleeptalker
-Sonicflood
-Spoon
-Starflyer 59
-Steve Biegner
-Story Side B
-Strauss
-Sufjan Stevens
-Switchfoot

Now that I think about it, I guess “S” would win, because it includes Sufjan. Man, I love him. I should probably marry him.

Anyways, the runners-up in the music-letter contest were “D”, which includes artists such as Dabney Morris, Darkroom, Dear Future, Deas Vail and Derek Webb, and “L”, which includes Lorien, Lost Ocean, AND Lovedrug.

Now you know that (a) I have no life and (b) I have no life.

If you are also bored and have no life, feel free to tell me which letter you would choose. Then we can be music geeks together. Or, ya know, I can just be one by myself… either way…

muchas gracias (because that’s the only thing I know how to say in Spanish),
Jill

It’s been quite a while since I’ve updated this blog, and today seems like a perfect day to do just that, because I am so incredibly excited today, and I want to share it with you.

But first things first. I live in Nashville now, and I like it a lot. It’s kind of hot (ridiculously hot), but it’s really a cute little city. I also like Belmont quite a lot. There are a lot of people like me here: everyone wears flip-flops and owns Macbooks and listens to indie music, so I’m comfortable here. Sometimes I don’t know if comfort is necessarily a good thing, but eh, that’s beside the point. My roomie is super-nice, and my suitemates and my next-door neighbors and my classmates are also all incredibly kind people. Which is good. I like my classes, I like my teachers, I like my campus, I like my dorm room. I don’t like the cafeteria’s food. I don’t like doing homework. I do like going to shows every other day (that’s really not much of an exaggeration). And that’s life, more or less. It’s pretty darn awesome, if you ask me.

But I haven’t told you the best part yet. My major upon coming to Belmont was French, with a minor in Education and a plan to get my Master’s in Early Childhood Ed. in the year after getting my B.A. But for the last week or so, I’ve been feeling really discontent about my choice of major. As in, discontent enough to think, “I don’t know if I want to stay at Belmont after this semester.” (Well, that’s probably also because I’m insane and like to transfer schools every two days.) Because honestly, I’m never going to use a degree in French. I don’t want to go to France. And I don’t want my Master’s in Education, because I don’t want to teach in a classroom. I want to go serve God in China, like He told me to (and like He continues to tell me every second of every day). But Belmont doesn’t have a major in Asian Studies. Or so I thought. But, my friends, God works in the strangest ways. I’m taking an Asian Humanities class this semester, and my professor asked me about my choice of majors during class yesterday. I told him the truth: that, frankly, I wasn’t excited about my major because I want to go to China. And you know what he said? “Oh, well we are just starting a major in Asian Studies THIS SEMESTER.” Yeah. Yeah, I know. And he loves China and is really enthusiastic about me going there. Not only does Belmont now have the perfect major for me, but this means that I am probably going to be able to graduate on time (class of ‘09, baby!) AND I’m going to have the opportunity to study abroad in China/Hong Kong in the very near future. My goodness, I am so excited. I’m excited because God is awesome and always works out things perfectly. I’m excited because my life has this unbelievable purpose and calling. I’m excited because now I KNOW that I’m at Belmont for a reason. So, my friends, be encouraged, because God is flipping awesome, and the way He works in my life is just one little way that He constantly proves that. Yay.

And now I get to go to a sweet (FREE!) rock show, which is just icing on the cake. My cake. My cake of life. What I’m trying to say is that my life strongly resembles a piece of cake. Yum.

Love always,
Your best friend ever

Today: I was in lovely Massachusetts, with my Grandmother.
Tomorrow-July 26: Work
July 27-August 4: Los Angeles, CA, to visit my super-cool aunt and uncle (I’m pretty darn excited).
August 5: FREE DAY! woohoo.
August 6-10: Work (my last full week!)
August 11-12: Boston, to hang out with awesome people (? hopefully).
August 13-15: Last days of work!
August 16: Major packing.
August 17: Drive to Nashville.
August 18: Move into my cozy new dorm room.
August 19 onward: Party nonstop. Just kidding! More like school, work, school, go to shows so my ears can be happy, school, work, etc…

And in addition to all that, I also want/need to see the following people before I leave for Nashville: Laura, Sabrina and Kim (for our quadruple step-sibling date night!), Leah and Sarah (at the same time, perhaps?), and Lucia, and probably someone else that I’m forgetting. So if you are one of those people, let’s see each other. Ok? Ok. Love you.

kisses (but only if you don’t have germs),
Jill

Sometimes when I don’t listen to them for awhile, I forget how much I like Jars of Clay. It was tough to choose just one of their songs for this, because all of their lyrics are so honest and relevant, but I chose this one, because it is one of the most beautiful and honest and hopeful songs that I’ve ever heard.

I built another temple to a stranger
I gave away my heart to the rushing wind
I set my course to run right into danger
Sought the company of fools instead of friends

You know I’ve been unfaithful
With lovers in lines
While you’re turning over tables
With the rage of a jealous kind
I chose the gallows to the aisle
Thought that love would never find
But hanging ropes will never keep you
And your love of a jealous kind

Tryin’ to jump away from rock that keeps on spreading
For solace in the shift of the sinking sand
I’d rather feel the pain all too familiar
Than be broken by a lover I don’t understand
‘Cause I don’t understand

One hundred other lovers, more, one hundred other altars
If I should slow my pace and finally subject me to grace
And love that shames the wise, betrays the heart’s deceit and lies
And breaks the back of foolish pride

You know I’ve been unfaithful
With lovers in lines
While you’re turning over tables
With the rage of a jealous kind
I chose the gallows to the aisle
Thought that love would never find
Hanging ropes will never keep you
And your love of a jealous kind.

-Lyrics by Jars of Clay. Listen to the song here.

There’s this little thing called humility that I don’t have. And I want it.

I want to see
I want to feel
I want to love
With no conditions

I’m gonna lie
I’m gonna steal
I’m gonna hear
But never listen

Oh, all that I need is something of worth
It could be what you are
And feel these empty words…

I want to learn
Teach me to know
Teach discontent
And teach me submission

But I’m gonna smile
Oh, I am a fake
All for the sake
Of my reputation

All that I need is something of worth
It could be what you are
And feel these empty words
Feel these empty words…

Take all my pride from me.

And feel these empty words…

-Lyrics by Lorien. Listen to the song here.

And I’m sorry that I’ve been so down and so selfish lately. And I’m sorry for being a jerk. I’m going to be better now. I promise.

I love you.

Jill

This song is perfect. Except for the schoolboy part. Cause, you know, I’m not a boy. Nor do I go to school. But aside from that, perfect.

This time of year, I step back
From my whimsical orientation I have cast
Seasons have passed, they’ve come and gone
Along with my youth and aren’t coming back

This point of view, it’s not fact
It’s all my fallen humanity and my schoolboy fantasies
Oh to be true and give up this act
Would be freedom to live at last

And it’s all I can do to keep my breath
From slowly departing away
The winds are strong now
They keep blowing at my ever so fragile heart
But you are here to stay
And I am here to say I’m afraid.

-Lyrics by Darkroom. Listen to the song here.

So it’s rare that I find a song that says exactly what I’m thinking. Very rare. And then along comes isHesafe, and about 96.84% of their songs say exactly what I want to say. Especially this one:

Two decades later
Twenty times failure
Here I am
To make myself greater than I’ve been

Now is a good time
Now is a good time
Now is a good time
To begin

So much to change
Make me new
So much to change
Lord, make your promises true in me
So much to change
Make me new

Two decades later
The hands of the savior
Are scarred by the nails where
They should be in mine

Forgetting his grace is
Forgetting his grace is
Forgetting his grace is
Not affected by time

There’s so much to change
There’s so much…

-Lyrics by isHesafe. Stream the song here.

I’m going to Nashville next week, first for “orientation” and then to look at apartments. This should be an exciting time in life, but I really don’t want to go. I’m afraid. I’m afraid that it won’t work out in the end. I’m afraid of taking out loans and being in debt. I’m afraid that I won’t fit in (I never do). I’m afraid of being disappointed and of being a disappointment. More than anything, I’m afraid of all the responsibility that comes with this situation, if it ends up working out. So why this song? When Koji played this song live for us, he said that it’s about growing up. Yes, it’s a song about growing up, and how I want to run away from it…

I want to find a place down by the ocean.
I want to buy a boat to sail away in.
But I won’t leave for good.
Don’t you worry, no no.
After all, it was you who said it’s no good to run from your problems.

And let me tell you something.
The weight of this world is often
Too much for anyone to bear,
At least not alone.

And I’m not a drinking man;
I’ve got to get away somehow.
But that’s not to say that I will not be there when you call.

And tell dad I’m sorry,
I couldn’t fight his war.
But that’s not to say I won’t be there.
And I’ve got my reasons,
Some things that I believe in.
But that’s not to say I won’t be there, I won’t be there.

And I’ve got this place down by the ocean.
And I’ve got this boat to sail away in.
You can come visit me sometime.
We can spend the day seaside.
And I’ve got this boat…

-Lyrics by Koji. Listen to or download the song (free!) here.

I want to find a boat to sail away in.

I’m really not a Switchfoot addict, but this song is special:

She’s alone tonight with a bitter cup and
She’s undone tonight, she’s all used up
She’s been staring down the demons
Who’ve been screaming she’s just another so and so,
Another so and so.

You are golden, you are golden child
You are golden, don’t let go, don’t let go tonight.

There’s a fear that burns like trash inside
And your shame the curse that burns your eyes.
You’ve been hiding in the bedroom
Hoping this isn’t how the story has to go.
It’s not the way it goes, it’s your book now.

(This world is a dead man down
Every breath is a fading crown away like some debilitated king
The earth spins and the moon goes round
The green comes from the frozen ground
And everything will be made new again like freedom in spring.)

-Lyrics by Switchfoot. Stream the song here.